We would love to see you on June 16th at 10:00 on Chambliss main campus to witness the groundbreaking for Isaiah 117 House at Chambliss Center for Children.
If you’re reading this, it’s either because you’re an awesome foster parent or because you’re passionate about helping children who are in the foster care system. If you identify as the latter, we want to challenge you to start your foster care journey NOW by attending our last set of Tennessee KEY (Knowledge Empowers You) foster parent training classes for 2021.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a child, a teen, or an adult. When we face obstacles, we need guidance and support. Below, Bree, shares some words of wisdom with potential foster parents from her own journey as a foster parent with Chambliss Center for Children and an adoptive mom of three.
We aim to assist families and youth in positive growth, in order to make families whole… but what does this look like? Of course, we serve children and ensure their safety and provision through our amazing foster homes, but we also aid the child’s family, since our goal is always reunification if possible.
“This month, we celebrate our past, present and future foster families for their dedication to the children that they provide loving and safe homes to. It is our hope that we can continue to spread awareness about this need, encouraging families to learn more about what it takes to foster a child and/or sibling group.”
If you’re reading this, it’s either because you’re an awesome foster parent or because you’re passionate about helping children who are in the foster care system. If you identify as the latter, we want to challenge you to start your foster care journey NOW by attending our last set of Tennessee KEY (Knowledge Empowers You) foster parent training classes for 2021.
Last December, Chambliss Center for Children was the grateful recipient of a donation of books for the youth in our Transitional Living Program. These books were special because they were written for teens in foster care by a former teen in foster care.
Robert P.K. Mooney is a successful lawyer turned author who shares his experience growing up in foster care in his book. A Foster Kid’s Road to Success. When we reached out and invited him to write a guest blog post for National Foster Care Awareness Month, he happily accepted the opportunity.
As a former foster youth who spent twelve years in the system and changed homes twenty times before aging out, I am frequently asked to speak to groups of teens in foster care throughout the country. Less frequently, I am invited to speak at trainings for current and potential foster parents, and to groups of case workers and supervisors.
Why would anyone ask me to speak to groups of foster youth and those that serve them? Likely because of the relative success I found in life after foster care. Although I suffered significant trauma growing up, after aging out, I graduated from college, received two law degrees, and led an exceptionally successful legal and business career. Probably more importantly, I found meaningful and lasting family relationships: I have been married for over twenty years and with my wife, we are in the process of raising five children aged nineteen years old down to eighteen months.
When speaking to foster youth, I begin virtually all of my talks something like this: “Okay, without raising your hands, answer the following questions in your mind: How many of you come from a home where there was substance abuse?” Inevitably, several hands go up, and I remind the kids that they don’t have to raise their hands. I continue.
“How many of you have had substance abuse issues yourself?” Again, hands go up, and again, I remind them that they don’t need to raise their hands. And then I continue.
“How many of you come from a family where there are mental health issues? How many of you struggle with mental health issues yourself? How many here have had run-ins with the law? How many here have failed a class in school? How about an entire term or semester?”
By this time, notwithstanding several reminders that they don’t have to identify whether any particular issue applies to them, virtually every hand in the room has gone up – repeatedly. And then I finish: “Okay, great. These are my people.” From there, the kids understand that I get it – I’ve been there.
Now, when I speak to adults who serve foster youth, whether they are foster parents, case workers or other administrators, invariably, I explain how I begin my conversations with groups of teens in foster care, described above.
But in addition to the questions that I ask the kids, I tell the adults that my questioning could go further. “How many of you have been scarred by physical abuse? How many of you have gotten into physical fights at school or in your foster families? How many of you know what it’s like to not know when your next meal will come, or where you will sleep? How many of you were sexually abused? How many of you are prematurely sexually active?” I don’t ask the youth these questions because of how triggering that could be. However, if I did, I know I would see dozens of hands raised with each question.
Then I ask the adults: “when you look at the children in your care, can you see kids who are broken? Do you see the kid who get in fights at school or at home? Do you see kids who fail in school? Who are in trouble with the law? Do you see rebellious teens with substance abuse or mental health issues; kids that are sexually active, or sexually reactive?” Usually, the group nods in near unison – they see all of these things and more.
But then I ask: “You see their pain and their trauma, but do you see their future? Do you see the future lawyer, the future author? Can you see the future husband and father? The future wife, the future mother? Do you see the artist, the musician? Can you see a productive and happy member of society?”
That line of questioning is generally met with stunned silence. These adults have generally experienced enough in foster care to know that traumatized kids, and especially older teens in care, usually do not end up reaching their potential. Instead, they inhabit our prisons, they are further victimized in human trafficking, or they make up a significant portion of our adult homeless population.
Youth in State care are, at this very moment, on their journey to adulthood. Their road has already been rocky. So many have been abused and abandoned, beaten and bruised, discarded and defeated. That may be all that they know. When they look ahead, their journey may seem to lead only to further pain, instability, and loneliness.
Following the recent tragic death of teenage girl in foster care – killed by a police officer while in the act of attacking another young woman – Columbus, Ohio’s mayor rightly stated that “This is a failure on part of our community. . . .all of us are responsible.” We are all responsible to help the foster youth in our communities, regardless of whether we serve directly in foster care. Our responsibility is to help our youth in care see the future that can be theirs. They can be successful in their chosen endeavors; they can choose to have meaningful and lasting human relationships. They can be financially and emotionally independent. But if we can’t see that potential in our foster youth, how can we ever hope to instill that vision in the children and teens that we serve?
During May, National Foster Care Month, we focus on increasing the visibility of the needs of children and youth in foster care. As we do, I hope we begin with the end of the journey in mind: what can each of these children become? When we can see that clearly, we need to help our foster youth internalize, to their very core, their true potential, and then give them the tools walk their own road to success.
Written by:
Robert P.K. Mooney
We aim to assist families and youth in positive growth, in order to make families whole… but what does this look like? Of course, we serve children and ensure their safety and provision through our amazing foster homes, but we also aid the child’s family, since our goal is always reunification if possible.
Even the most seasoned foster parents might need new toys or specific toys. Some children come to a foster placement with nothing, and even a small gift can mean the world to a foster family. If you find out a foster family needs toys or clothing for their new foster children, offer to share any gently-used toys and clothes in good condition.
When the world returns to normal, everyone will be looking for ways to connect. Keep your foster family friends in mind when you plan get togethers. Finding kid-friendly places around town isn’t difficult, and it could be a huge weight off the shoulders of a foster family who can’t leave their children at home.
Whether they are brand-new to the world of fostering or foster care pros, everyone needs love and support through tough situations. Foster care can be messy and tiring. It can also be wonderful and rewarding. Be there for foster parents as they go through the ups and downs of raising children, and give them grace when they slip up.
Foster parents in Tennessee must receive months of training before accepting their first placement. Their friends, however, may not know anything about the foster care system, trauma-informed care, or parenting someone else’s child(ren). One way you can help support foster families is by voluntarily reading up on what they’re doing. While you may not get into the weeds of state law, Adverse Childhood Experiences, or psychology, you can always read up on the experiences of others in their foster care journey with a quick internet search for foster parent blogs. Check out the comments for some recommended blogs about fostering!
The best way to help foster parents is joining them on their journey. When you go through the Tennessee Knowledge Empowers You (TN KEY) classes, you learn more about what it takes to be a responsible foster parent. If you’re not ready to foster, you can also provide respite care which supports foster children and foster families with short-term care for children and teens.
For more information about fostering or respite care, email fostercare@chamblisscenter.org.
Written by: Rachel Froug
In 1943, American psychologist Abraham Maslow developed his now famous theory of human development- the Maslow Hierarchy of Needs. What this model tells us is that, at a base level, we all need things like food, shelter, warmth and safety. But, according to Maslow, once these things are secured, our needs become more complicated. We look for things like healthy community, family, a sense of accomplishment and finally, self-actualization- achieving our full creative potential.
Retrieved from Simply Psychology
Thanks to the amazing support of our donors, we are able to provide quality, safe apartments to youth who have aged out of foster care. We’re able to make sure our residents never go hungry and that they always have a careful caseworker at hand to help tackle challenges as they come. In short, we’ve gotten really good at addressing those two bottom layers in Maslow’s model. But is this enough? Often, with youth aging out of foster care, we hear caseworkers say that a young person has “potential,” that they dream of being police officers or social workers- hoping one day to help young people in same situations they were once in. But the sad reality is that these dreams often go unrealized. In fact, nationally, only 3% of youth who age of out foster care will go on to earn a bachelor’s degree by the time they’re 26. What are we missing?
As transitional living case managers, one of the concerns we hear from our residents consistently is that of loneliness. Certainly this is an issue for many of us these days, with mandated stay-at-home orders and social distancing. These hardships are only exasperated by the ongoing civil unrest happening around America. We’ve realized the importance of community and staying mentally healthy during these times of uncertainty- that things like virtual therapy sessions, scheduled FaceTime “dates” with friends and family, keeping our bodies active through exercise and staying connected to our faith through prayer and devotionals are ESSENTIAL…and Abraham Maslow would totally agree (see the middle two layers in his model).
Our goal for our Transitional Living program this coming year is to create spaces and routines that promote community and healing for our residents. We are convinced, more than ever, that this is critical if our young people are going to have the successes we all hope for. With the opening of our new 6-unit apartment in February, we will be taking one of the units and creating a resident lounge, complete with a staff office and a room where residents can have counseling sessions. And thanks to a generous donor, we’ve got additional staff support on the way and budget for recreational outings (for when the world is safe and open). Here at Chambliss Center for Children, we want to be more than a set of resources, but a community where our young people find safety and security, build healthy relationships and ultimately, discover the capacity to work hard and accomplish their goals.
Written by:
Jon Beresteky
Director of Transitional Living
Brittani Stephenson
Transitional Living Specialist
Your home is your sanctuary. Inviting a case worker into your house to determine if it’s the right fit for a child or teen in foster care can be a bit nerve-wracking. No fear! Our team at Chambliss Center for Children conducts home studies for prospective foster parents all the time, and we know the questions many people have before the process even begins. Here are a few key answers to some frequently asked questions about home studies.
We don’t tell them enough, but we love our Foster Fathers. In so many ways, they’re just typical dads, but Bob shared with me how truly amazing it is to be called “Dad” by his nine children. On this Father’s Day weekend, we want to celebrate dads everywhere and shed some light on one of our awesome Foster Dads, Mr. Bob!
If you’ve ever considered becoming a foster parent, chances are you have a lot of questions! Many of our foster parents consider going through the training for a while before they take the leap. To help you navigate the process, we’ve compiled some of our frequently asked questions about becoming a foster parent below.
Is there a need for foster parents in this community?
Yes, there is a disparity in our county with the number of children in care and the families able to work with these children. The issue that we are finding is that we have families in our communities, but not enough who are able and/or willing to meet the needs of the children in the system.
Do I have to live in Tennessee to foster through Chambliss Center for Children?
Yes, you must be a resident of Tennessee for at least 6 months to foster through our agency.
What are the basic requirements for becoming a foster parent?
Basic requirements to become a foster parent include:
Be a resident of the state for at least 6 months
Live in any of the TN Valley region counties
Be at least 25 years of age
Be financially stable
Be in sufficient health
Able to pass background checks
Must have a bedroom available in your home for a child or children
Do I need to own a home to be a foster parent?
No, you can own or rent your home.
What does the general process look like to become a foster parent?
In order to become a foster parent, you must complete the Foster Parent Pre-Service Training and complete the home study process.
How long does the training to become a foster parent take? How much does it cost?
The training is free, and classes are one night a week for two months.
Why do kids come into custody in the first place?
Children are often brought into state custody as a result of a report made to Child Protective Services. When CPS receives a report of abuse or neglect, they go to the home to investigate the claim. If it is substantiated, they remove the children from their birth families or current caregivers, and they become a ward of the state.
What is the purpose of foster care?
The purpose of foster care is to provide temporary care for children in custody until they are able to be reunified with their birth parents.
What is the difference between fostering and adopting?
The Child Welfare System seeks to provide permanency for the children in their care. Fostering and adoption both make this possible. The ultimate goal of foster care is to return the child back to their birth families, while adoption is a lifelong commitment to a child or children by making them legally a part of your family.
Are foster parents eligible to adopt?
Foster parents can adopt a child in their care if the birth parents rights have been terminated through the courts.
How expensive is fostering and the adoptive process?
Both foster care and adoption are free to individuals who go through the state and some private agencies. Typically, families that are looking only to adopt have to pay private agencies to write their home study and assist them with the adoption process.
If I’m interested in becoming a foster parent, what are the next steps?
If you are interested in becoming a foster parent, get in touch with our recruiter, Marvelle Davis. You can reach her by phone at (423)-280-3760 or by email at modavis@chamblisscenter.org.
We have the best foster parents! These families sacrifice so much to give children who have been removed from their families due to abuse, neglect, or abandonment a safe, loving, healing environment. Below, a soon-to-be adoptive mom shares her story about her family’s decision to foster, and then adopt. She beautifully expresses her love for these children, their birth family, and hope for all of their futures.
My husband and I knew we were called to become foster parents in 2013 after attending a foster home benefit and hearing the testimony of several teenagers. We both said ‘yes’ in our hearts that day, but only under certain conditions. Our plan was to wait until our two biological children were grown and then open our home to older children like the teenagers we heard speak that night. We were very comfortable with that decision and talked about it often as our future plan. A few years later, however, our good friends (the youth pastors at our church) became foster parents. They allowed us to join them in their journey, and we began to provide respite care for them. We loved being a part of this and each time the children were with us, it filled our home with joy!
Before long, our teenagers started asking us to foster while they were still at home. We still felt our plan was best, and we should wait. We even used the other ministries we were involved in as excuses. After two years of refusing to even pray about it, we began to seek the Lord and consider His timing might be different than ours. We reluctantly signed up for the classes, and after our first training course, we realized God had a better plan than we did. We finished the training and began to pray for both our future foster child/children and their birth families. Honestly though, much of our praying was focused on our own family. We knew we could love foster children, but wanted to prepare our hearts to love the birth families as well. Our goal needed to be focused on reconciling the children to their own parents, and that would be our biggest challenge. We waited and prayed for four months.
Then on March 20, 2017, we got the call‒a 10-month-old and 8-year-old boys. They arrived at our home at 9 p.m., both scared and shaken to the core. The truth that God’s timing is perfect was evident that night. It was, in fact, our biological teenagers who first became the hands and feet of Jesus to these precious, traumatized boys. Honestly, the first few months of their stay seemed like a blur as our family went into survival mode. And the first time we took the boys to visit their birth family, the 8-year-old kept asking if they could come back home to stay with us. Shocked to hear this request, we kept assuring him and fighting back our own tears.
In the months that followed, we formed a wonderful relationship with the birth family, and they were working hard to meet expected requirements. We were loving the boys as if they would never leave and telling ourselves every night that they WOULD leave. We were trying desperately to guard our hearts assuming their stay with us was temporary. During this time, we often had to declare that “all is well” and lean on others for strength and borrowed faith.
Our journey with the boys has had many ups and downs. More than once we thought they would be returning to their birth family. But repetitive bad choices by their biological family have kept them in foster care in our home. And as proof that God had a better plan than we did, we are thrilled that their adoption should be final this summer! Our boys will be our forever family and their birth family will remain a part of their story as well. God showed us that He brought ALL of them into our lives. We realize this seems strange to some people, and it certainly isn’t what we planned. But after many answered prayers, we feel honored that God is calling us to do something so challenging and want to make sure He receives all the glory! We are trusting Him daily for wisdom and strength to continue this process.
This is “our story.” We are thankful for the faith and courage of our two teenagers who wanted us to foster while they were still in our home. We are also thankful for the help and endless encouragement from our family, church family, friends, and Chambliss Center for Children.
We hope our story encourages others to be a part of foster care and adoption in some way. Because even on the worst days, we can honestly say our boys always bring joy‒not always happiness‒but always joy! If we could describe foster care in one word it would be GRACE. Be ready to give grace abundantly; be ready to ask for grace humbly; and be ready to receive grace daily.
By Stephanie Y., Chambliss Center for Children Foster/Adoptive Parent
We are constantly needing new families to take the leap into fostering. If you would like to learn more about becoming a foster parent, please call 423-693-2580 or email fostercare@chamblisscenter.org.
